While short term work can be successful in specific circumstances sometimes long term open ended work can be of great and lasting benefit. Some difficulties are more enduring and have their roots in our earliest years when we adapt to the world around us. We develop thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and ways of relating to others - what attachment therapists call an internal working model. This model shapes the way we see ourselves and those around us. This model, which can help us survive in our early years, may in part be unconscious but can influence our capacity to cope and manage our lives in the present. This internal working model can lead us to do things in ways which are unhelpful and self-limiting and to seek solutions which are based on thoughts, feelings and ideas are unhelpful.
Trauma and childhood abuse can create an invisible cage which can constrain and limit our lives through symptoms such as anxiety, depression, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Current crisis, trauma, separation, loss, or high levels of stress can be compounded by an internal working model developed earlier in life. Strategies we have developed may limit our access to our innate potential to respond appropriately or effectively to certain types of challenge.
Entering such a therapeutic relationship can be challenging and rewarding. Within the confidentiality and safety of a therapeutic relationship we can explore the thoughts and feeling closest to our hearts and how these influence the way we live our lives now. At the outset of therapy this contact can bring strong feelings of relief and so encourage us to delve deeper. I aim to support you and help you feel safe enough to explore areas of your life that may be painful or previously held unconsciously.
Sometimes having this space to talk can allow us to makes sense of troubling thoughts and feelings can help put them in perspective, and to find new ways forward and develop new opportunities. For others therapy can be a space where painful experiences and strong emotions can be heard and accepted and healing can take place.
Therapy can provide a place where you can investigate your’ internal working model’. As the therapeutic relationship deepens key experiences of our lives, past and present, are explored, with particular regard to how they affect our feelings, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. In a safe space you can look at such things as, who you are? How did you come to be that way? And how you would like to be? With continued support this can allow you to experiment with new ways of being and to integrate these changes into your life. I hope that people finishing therapy will feel they understand themselves better and feel freer and able to live in ways which are fulfilling and conducive to contentment and happiness.